And Now I'm Wearing Your Pants

Oh man.  This guy wanted to surprise me with a fun date, but since it was our first date, I was not okay with him picking me up.  You know, stranger danger and all that scary business.  He said he completely understood, and suggested we go to a nice bistro.  A nice bistro sounds pretty good to me.  I threw on a skirt and some heels, put the address in my gps, and rolled out.This tricky, tricky man fooled me though!  The final location turned out to be Miramar Speed Circuit.  It's an indoor go kart track.

Now this would be awesome if I wasn't in a dress and heels...and if I wasn't me.  For those of you who know me well, you know I don't like this kind of thing.  I don't want to be squatting down to get into a kart, and it smelled like tires and gum.  Plus, I looked like a jackass because it was a bunch of kids having a birthday party, some older Japanese business men, and me in a stupid skirt. 

The guy in charge of the track took one look at me, and said, "Ma'am!  Ma'am!  You can't wear that here.  You need to go to the front desk and get different clothes."  Good plan.

I was outfitted with bowling shoes and a 'do rag thing to keep other people's helmet sweat off of me.  Perfect: Skirt, Bowling Shoes, 'Do Rag.  I looked awesome.  I got to keep the 'do rag.  Here's a picture:

My date said I looked like a giant condom.  Super charming.  

I was worrying about how I was going to get in the go kart and drive around without flashing the young boys and the business men.  That's quite a predicament.  I expressed my concern to my date, and quick as a whip his pants were off.

Yes, things get weirder.

He took off his pants and gave them to me to wear under my skirt.  He had on shorts under his pants for some reason.  The pants were kinda sweaty  :/

Now I looked amazing: Skirt, Track Pants, 'Do Rag, Bowling Shoes, and a Motorcycle Helmet.  Good to go.

We had to wait a little while for our race to begin, so we chatted a bit.  This is when I noticed that his teeth were gray, and appeared to be rotting.  Yuck.  I didn't feel the attraction.  I kind of shut down a bit, and he said to me, "I thought you'd be funnier."

Uh, yeah.  And I thought your teeth wouldn't be gray, and I wouldn't be wearing your pants to ride go karts.

I sucked at the racing part.  I came in dead last place, and caused an accident.  Oops.  They gave me a print out I didn't understand about my stats.  The race lasted 10 minutes, and then we left and went to dinner at Buca di Beppo.  YUM!

Did you know they take your picture there and give you a free postcard?  One of my lucky friends is going to get the postcard in the mail.  Get excited.  It could be you.  At dinner this is what I found out:

1) He loves palindromes (DAMMIT IM MAD is one, so is RACE CAR)
2) He didn't have a refrigerator for 12 years
3) He will never take me to Australia...I'm not sure why

and

4) His mom is addicted to horses.  Like really.

This was just such a weird time.  I had to share.  Lesson learned: Google the address of the place you're going, check to make sure pictures posted show the person smiling with teeth, and always have an extra pair of pants.